i tell myself to not get attached. to not let it get this way. to keep them out of your mind. just let it all go. just the physical…nothing else. but im kind of tired of my life being like this. i want something real, im deprived of what i deserve…something real… someone that will treat me right. i need more…but im not sure i can give this up.
uhmmm…who the hell is everyone? stupidest thing people can post on facebook…wayy to put everyone else who is not part of your “everyone” down. What makes this “everyone” so special that they get a huge generalization like that….as if no one else matters? bullshit.
Everyone has a secret they haven't shared. Everyone has a past no one's heard about. Everyone has talents that people don't notice. Everyone has weaknesses hidden inside. Everyone has a story left untold, so never start judging someone thinking you know them back to front. Because the truth is, you probably don't.
this past week ive had constant reminders about my weight shoved down my throat. yeah i get it, my doctor even mentioned i need to lose weight. But you know what…do you think i dont know this already? i know ive gained weight and my tummy is a pudge of fat and my jeans dont fit right anymore. i get that. so everyone back off. I’m depressed, since my doctors appointment ive cut a huge amount of calories, worked out excessively, and have just slept without even wanting to deal with anyone. So everyone just leave it alone. Think im overweight? We will see in a couple of weeks who is overweight. When im determined, especially about my body…i dont play. So screw it…Now im going to go on a run.
dont text me and be like “whats wrong”. its obvious i cant tell you, mostly because your mouth is the size of the grand canyon. I have no trust for anyone, why should i? Once they know something, they have the power over me…i want power over myself. i dont have time for blackmail and all this other shit. yeah i messed up, and i am pretty messed up right now. but leave me alone, i dont want to talk to anyone about it. all i want is someone to just hold me while i just cry. no questions asked. but no, people are so nosy all up in my business pretending they care. ive known you for awhile…you havent changed all that much. you still talk about people the second they leave the room. and im not gonna be one of the stupid bitches that will tell you shit.
for the next month. no fast food. im totally detoxing. i have to make my workouts even more intense. swimming afterschool today. at least a mile and then running 6 miles.hot yoga after for an hour. i dont play. we will see who is overweight . bitches.