I deserve better. I am worth more. I need more respect. I should accept myself. People say all these things…but idc.i know i dont deserve anything. Im meant to stay hurt. Thats what i deserve, pain.
who says violence isnt the answer?
i tell myself to not get attached. to not let it get this way. to keep them out of your mind. just let it all go. just the physical…nothing else. but im kind of tired of my life being like this. i want something real, im deprived of what i deserve…something real… someone that will treat me right. i need more…but im not sure i can give this up.
i know this will sound really cliche
but…i really want a valentine.
back to back
yoga classes today. then the gym tonight. i havent put jeans on since last tuesday. im scared i wont fit in them anymore.
my body. its huge. im fat. i hate it. all i want is to be thin, to be seen as acceptable instead of this huge piece of ugly lard.
everything changes, but beauty remains.
"out with everyone"
uhmmm…who the hell is everyone? stupidest thing people can post on facebook…wayy to put everyone else who is not part of your “everyone” down. What makes this “everyone” so special that they get a huge generalization like that….as if no one else matters? bullshit.
Everyone has a secret they haven't shared....
yeah alright, i get it.
this past week ive had constant reminders about my weight shoved down my throat. yeah i get it, my doctor even mentioned i need to lose weight. But you know what…do you think i dont know this already? i know ive gained weight and my tummy is a pudge of fat and my jeans dont fit right anymore. i get that. so everyone back off. I’m depressed, since my doctors appointment ive cut a huge...
just leave me alone.
dont text me and be like “whats wrong”. its obvious i cant tell you, mostly because your mouth is the size of the grand canyon. I have no trust for anyone, why should i? Once they know something, they have the power over me…i want power over myself. i dont have time for blackmail and all this other shit. yeah i messed up, and i am pretty messed up right now. but leave me alone, i...
Who's going to be single on the 14th of February?
starting my diet today.
for the next month. no fast food. im totally detoxing. i have to make my workouts even more intense. swimming afterschool today. at least a mile and then running 6 miles.hot yoga after for an hour. i dont play. we will see who is overweight . bitches.
i no longer exist
itll be as if i never existed. i promise.
me: somethings don't change though.
him: what things?
me: memories, scars.